Twisting pain...



Deep down inside,
I feel it,
Like a frozen, dead child,
Like a lump in my heart,
Like a sickness inside,
That won't go away...


Cold, biting steel,
A razor sharp knife,
Twisting and stabbing,
At all that has meaning,
Making looking so painful,
I wish I was blind...


They say seeing is believing,
Perhaps, then blindness would suffice,
To stop this feeling,
Like an over tight vice,
Squeezing out my life,
Hope and last remnants of joy...


But if I close my eyes,
The dagger is still there,
Within my heart,
My mind and my soul,
Slowing invading, warping,
Distorting, destroying...


And I can not show it,
Just let it take affect,
Just watch myself die,
And never mourn the passing,
For no one else must see,
For pain is an ugly, selfish thing...


And so I watch, and mourn silently,
In shrouds of self destruction,
And hope only that the pain will end,
By cold and blindness,
Far away from the daggers in my own mind...


But still it continues,
Neverending, never ceasing,
Flooding through my being,
Until I no longer want to fight,
Just surrender to the pain,

And silently bleed to death...